Love? life

Home on a Friday night. Listening to music and browsing (ie stalking) on facebook and twitter. 

I spend way too much time online!! 

I've been pretty slack with blogging lately...well actually, i havent quite gotten into it just yet! Its been two weeks since my last post so ill try my best to make this one a good one. 

I know! I'll tell you a little about my love life....

love? life

I can honestly say that I've never been in love. 

Im 25 years old, single and I've never been in love. 

I've had three boyfriends. 

Boyfriend #1 lasted 2 weeks. He was a good friend (at one point he was my best friend) and I didnt want to complicate things so after just two weeks I dumped him! He use to give me goose-bums when i was with him but the way i liked him made me really nervous...scared even! It really was complicated! And maybe one day ill share with you more details. We're still friends and stay in touch when we can....and apparently he still likes me! I dont like him that way anymore. He has a serious girlfriend and they live together in Dunedin. 

Boyfriend #2 lasted 3 days. This guy in college had a huge crush on me and after asking me out about a hundred times, i said yes....then we kissed and he had smelly breath and spat all over my mouth (gross)...so then i dumped him and said "were better off as friends". I think he hated me for a few months after that. Hes now married and has three kids. 

Boyfriend #3 lasted about 6 months. I was third year at Uni. He was second. We were friends before he told me he liked me and asked me out. He was a sweet, funny and charming guy so i said yes plus I liked him too. We spent more time texting and emailing each other then actually spend time together. It kinda became an awkward relationship. Cant exactly call it relationship though cause we never really did much together....i mean we didnt even kiss....i know! weird! And apparently things were going too fast ???? and he dumped me...through email...from Samoa! I hated him for doing that! But i got over it. He now has a girlfriend....a serious one! 

There have been other guys...you know?! dates...potential boyfriends...blah blah! but seriously, if i go into details i'd have to turn this post into a book! 

The thing about me is I've never made finding a boyfriend a priority. Moving away from home and living in Auckland, I knew my focus had to be on my studies. After graduating, my focus was on performing and finding a job. Now im working, performing, teaching, studying....seriously! what time do I have now to find a boyfriend?! 

I dont want to be single for long though (lets remember im a quarter of a century old now!) 

I do admit though, I have my insecurities when it comes to guys. Emotional insecurities? I've noticed Im quite guarded! I dont like to get too emotionally involved with people. I dont like being vulnerable in front of people, especially guys...I always find it hard to talk about how i really feel so im always "Okay". And probably the biggest thing is, I fear losing my independence and freedom....Im so used to doing things on my own and taking care of myself that I cant imagine the whole relationship thing and always being with that person....doing stuff....and always being together.

I've been a lot more open to dating...so open Im texting/getting to know three guys right now....none of them have actually asked me out on a date. Geez! What ever happen to romance...asking a girl on a dinner/movie date?...making an effort! courting! are people still doing that?! If so, where are they? someone navigate me to them! 

So Im a busy body! Always doing something! The things that keep me busy are the things i love doing...my job, performing and (sometimes) studying. Maybe when that tall dark and handsome guy (wishful thinking) finds me and he's worth my valuable time (hehe) then ill make the effort. Ill make the effort if he makes the effort. But you know! these kinda things shouldnt be forced. They should just happen naturally right? If two people are meant to be together then everything just makes sense....right?! Or maybe I just watch too many romcoms! 

I seriously dont know where im going with this! 

Bottom line is, all that blah blah and all i really wanted to write was...I.wanna.be.in.love 

One.More.Sleep

Im excited! 


I get excited about a lot of things like, going to the movies, having coffee with friends, going to the beach, topping up my phone, free weekend calling, eating, free food, seeing a hott guy, going for long car rides, ice-cream....you get my drift! 


I've been excited all day though! I'll tell you why in a minute! Before I do, let me tell you a little about my family...


Im the youngest of four girls. My three older sisters all live in Wellington. Two of them married with kids and the other single. They all live at home with mum and dad and my little brother. Its a hectic house hold! Not only because there are ten people living in there (which is normal for Samoan families)....but my parents are kinda ministers....well, not kinda...they ARE ministers...church ministers. Dad's a reverend. A man of God. A man who serves H.I.M. He does a lot for the church and the local community. My parents work 24/7...when I think about the amounts of time I complain about a hard week at work, I just think about my parents and how hard working they are! Feel kinda silly at times. 


Imagine working around the clock! I guess that's partly why my sisters are living at home....to support and help them out. 


It gets a bit much though...to be a ministers daughter. Me and my siblings have struggled to keep up sometimes. I wouldnt want to bore you with all the details but if I was to give you one word to describe my life as a ministers daughter, it would be 'expectations'. My parents expectations of me. My own expectations of myself. The churches expectations of me. Its exhausting. Pressure boiling. I try my best not to think too much about what others expect me to do or to be and just....be...me! But its always in the back of my mind! 


Alright! Whatevs! 
So back to why im so excited! 


I rarely get to see my family. There's the occasional visit during the holidays and a few weekends during the year but thats hardly enough! When I know Im going to see my family, Im like a kid counting down the sleeps till Christmas! For the past week I've been counting down the sleeps. One more sleep now and I get to see one of my sisters for almost a whole week!!! Even better, she'll be up here with three of my good friends! And even better....they're not road-tripping up to Auckland for any particular reason except to party!!! Excite!
You see, my sister, Lisa (not her real name by the way), is the one everyone depends on. She's the organised one! She's been at home with my parents the longest! She's had a bit of bad luck with love (not gonna give details) and she hardly gets the chance to leave home and have a bit of fun. Im excited for her! That she gets to leave home (even if it for a few days), forget about work and church and just have a good time...in Auckland...with her younger sister! 


So there! Call me weird! But seeing my family always excites me! One more sleep now. 
Oh did I also mention that I've taken Thursday AND Friday off work (and Im normally off on Mondays anyways) so I get a really long weekend......shux! Im really looking forward to the next few days.


One.More.Sleep...YEY! 

Starting somewhere...

And here....I start a blog! (Bravery, some people would call it!) 

I didn't actually think I'd get this far. For months I've had an account but never actually bothered with it! With a bit of convincing from a cousin (you know who you are!), here I am...with no idea what to write as my first entry (is that what you call them? entries?) 

And I thought writing my "About Me" page for this blog was hard! Or even coming up with a name...

'Pieces Of Me'

Feeling slightly proud of the name to be honest....I think its pretty clever if you ask me! (I know! Its girly. But.I.am.girly...so deal!)

It makes sense though doesn't it? I mean, I dont exactly live a glamorous life and Im not being chased by a flock of crazed paparazzis (ref. Britney Spears) but this blog will be me sharing the "pieces..." of my life....with you! (whoever "you" are) 

The pieces could be anything really. Well, I dont know really. 

Whatever comes up for me to write about....whether that will be about family, friends, love, relationships, food, fashion, (the stress of) school and studies, work, partying, dating....

anything. and (maybe) everything....we'll see how we go.

For now though, I'll leave it at that. 

Just wanted my first blog entry to be about blogging....is that weird?